Dear Jakey,
Today has been a strange day. Actually a lot of them have been strange lately but this one more so. After you died, I spent a lot of time surrounded by people, and then there was a stretch where I didn’t want too many people around and then it just seemed to resume to some kind of new normal for me. Anyways, lately I have returned back to a little bit of my loner mood. I just don’t feel like talking with people and sometimes it just seems awkward. I know it is mostly in my head but I sometimes feel so different from everyone else that it gets to be too much. And things are just too overwhelming. Anyways, at some point yesterday I realized that today would be the 8th and that it was a Wednesday and that 14 months without you was going to feel significant. So today I proceeded with caution – I woke up and ran with Susan, I built zoobles with Ethan before school, we went to see you and then to school and then I went to Target and filled up my cart with all sorts of random things.
I came home and began organizing the bathroom (part of the Target purchases) and the phone rang. As you know, I usually ignore the house phone. I have started paying attention to it because we use it as the JHFH phone number and we have been getting more calls. Anyways, I pick up the phone and it turns out to be a priest from St. Clement’s Bereavement program. And it turned out to be a true gift from God today. He asked about you and I got to speak about you for about 20 minutes. He was kind and listened and said everything just right. And I can’t even tell you how awesome it was to just sit and talk about you. It was just lovely. And while it means I didn’t make it to my closet organization, it did take some of the weight off my shoulders today. Thank you buddy.
I love you so much my peanut. And I miss every single thing about you.
Love,
Mommy