Dear Jakey,

We went to Saratoga Apple on Monday. It was a crazy October day where it was super sunny and warm. Ethan didn’t have school and Daddy came with us. All I could think of getting ready to go and once we were there was that last times we were there as a family. The first time you were in the Bjorn probably about 4 or 5 months old. Ethan was about 20 or 21 months and having a blast running around. Then we came that next year. We had already spent 4 months at Children’s and life had already made its first significant change for us. Ethan was 2 1/2 and was still running around the orchard. And you were in the orange Mountain Buggy. I am not sure what it says about me that what I remember most is when your brother had to pee and I took a picture of him peeing in the apple orchard. Anyways, that was the last time we were all there. Ethan and I went last year after school while you stayed with Cait. So, all those memories were really fresh and it was a little strange. Regardless, we had fun. And then we went to the corn maze which we had never done before. Ethan was actually pretty good at leading us through, I think he has a better sense of direction than me.

Yesterday Ethan dressed himself for school. He chose to wear the Jake’s Help From Heaven shirt. There is something about it that made me feel happy. You are such a vital part of our everyday life and we all have different ways of coming to terms with life without you each day. I miss you buddy. The cardinal has been MIA lately. We’d like to see you around us.

Lots of love,