Dear Jakey,

We had such a lovely time here in Qgunquit. A truly perfect day yesterday. We woke up to fresh snow which made Ethan’s day. We saw the bird eating outside. Mommy got to go to the outlets and pick up a few things. And Ethan and Daddy played in the snow the entire time – it was perfect for everyone. I went to all the stores I wanted for the first time in a long time without a feeling of being rushed and Ethan got to play in the huge piles of snow he always has dreamed about! After we finished the weather was really quite beautiful – super cold but beautiful skies and lots of sun. The beach was beautiful – something about the beach with snow on the sand is just cool. We ate lunch right on the water with a beautiful view. And in the middle of the lunch it hit Daddy and I that this type of day would never have happened with you on Earth. And we both teared up. Because as great as it was, the cost we have had to pay to enjoy it is just too damn high. And it is a very weird feeling as a parent  being happy that you could provide something for one son that you couldn’t have  with the other son. And I am sure most parents think they understand but the fact is it was just very different. Because a lot of times it was almost entirely about you.  My job was to keep you on that schedule and eat when you were supposed and move when you were supposed to and there wasn’t really a lot of flexibility. And now there is. So, I use the word bittersweet again. Bittersweet because we had a beautiful family mini-vacation but at the same time are desperately missing a huge piece of our family.

We love you so very much. We leave this morning – with a stop at MGH to see Dr. Thiele and Heidi. I am excited to see them but anticipate that it will be hard, although I am trying to be very focused on the good – we will figure out where all the money raised on behalf of you will be used. I am so very proud of you my peanut!

See you later with love and kisses,