Dear Jakey,

My heart is broken. Completely and utterly broken. I cannot believe all that you have to endure. I wrote to you yesterday about how positive things are going and now today, we have a broken femur. Or rather you have a broken femur. I only wish it was my broken femur. I just don’t understand how these things happen. But we knew something was up. We knew it on the way to NY when you started getting a little flinchy. And when all your therapists commented on your right side. And when we talked to Boston. And finally last night, when I moved your position like I do throughout everysingle night so you don’t get sore and heard a crack and you cried. And cried and cried. And then I knew something was very wrong. It is always like being trapped on a one way train ride. You know where it is going and you don’t want to go but you can’t get off no matter what you do. No matter what x-rays you have done, tests or precautions you take, whatever is going to happen will happen and there is not a damn thing we can do about it. I am so sorry Jakey, I wish I could stop these things from happening.

So, Daddy says you are continuing to be resilient and amazing. He is with you now at Albany Med and it looks like they will cast you there. Probably another spica. And then to be safe we will go to Boston – maybe tomorrow so that we can be there early Monday when Dr. Grottkau is there. Hopefully we will here from him soon.

I am so sorry my buddy. I would take a million breaks to my body over anything more to happen to you. I can’t wait until you are back home. Your brother is seeing things on the bright side – saying at least we now know what was hurting you and we can get it fixed. He is right. I love you more than you can imagine and wish I could make your bones stronger. It doesn’t seem fair that they break while you lay there trying to sleep. I hope someone soon finds a way to make this stuff a whole lot easier for you buddy. I will keep looking for answers but until then know that I love you so very much and can’t wait to get my arms around you – cast and all.

Love,

Mommy