Dear Jakey,

I have really felt you around the last few days I think – both directly and indirectly. The mail of the last two days has brought some pretty special surprises for me – from Mindy’s letter and Judy’s card to yesterday’s Valentine’s for you! Yes, you heard me right. You got a package from Beth at Prospect yesterday. It had a beautiful card to you:


I love and miss you so much baby boy! I know you’re running and probably eating all kinds of stuff thats bad for you! (like cookies:-))Logan and Zander say hi and Happy Valentine’s Day. Everyone at school misses you. I think about you every day.

Happy Valentine’s Day Jakey S.

Love you bunches,


And you know that I am not always a big card person – but the outside of her card was just perfect. It said:


when I’m thinking of you,

I wonder

if you might be

thinking of me too,

right at

the very same moment,

and it makes me smile,

knowing that we always have

our thoughts

to keep us close.


That is so perfect. And it is why I write to you, my guy. When I wrote to you when you were here with me, I always thought it was our secret way of understanding each other and now I am so grateful because I have to believe it transcends it all and you still know what I am saying to you.

The best part about the package you got was that you got Valentines and drawings from Logan and Zander. They were so awesome and such a great surprise that once again I found myself sobbing. I am so grateful for those days in November I spent at your school. At the time they brought me such joy and I remember writing to you about how much I enjoyed your school and your friends. Lunch time with you guys was the best. And I often think about Logan and Zander because they really loved you. In Room 1 you were all friends and I bet you miss them too. How can you not miss Logan running to greet you everyday and shouting out with happiness that ” JJ’s here!”.

When I sent Daddy a text about your package, he wrote back “He was loved by many”. I know that is true, but it still makes me so proud and grin ear-to-ear because you were and are such an amazing little boy. I can’t imagine I have survived the last ten weeks without you, exactly ten weeks ago I woke up and you were here but when I went to bed you weren’t. Not sure how I will survive the rest of time but day by day I will, and with your help I can do it.

Love and hugs – big, bear hugs,