Dear Jakey,

Daddy and I went to the chapel this morning. And I miss you so much. Last night it hit me again that you were gone and that life was just different forever. I don’t understand what makes it happen so suddenly sometimes. I guess it is just the way life is now. I so wish that I could change it and that we could go back to the way it was before you died. There are so many pictures on the camera that I need to erase because they are on the ipad and computer and they are all of the “before” of our life. There are some videos from years ago, well before we knew how our story would turn out. And so many pictures of you leading up to the day until you were gone – when even in those days and hours before it happened we didn’t really know it would happen. And even when it was always a fear in our heads and hearts, we didn’t see it coming.

So Jakey, it is just more of the same. I miss you. I really don’t like being anywhere without you.