Dear Jakey,

Today we went to Sydney’s birthday party. Hard to believe she is 5. When we first moved to Saratoga, Trish and Sydney were one of the first friends we met.  At Ethan’s second birthday party, there are two of my most favorite pictures of you and they are both with Miss Trish. You were such a chubby, happy baby. You hung out with her while I ran around being in the hostess and thinking how lucky I was to have such an easy baby. Who would have known that pictures from that party would end up being forever imprinted as the “before” photos? It was the night or really early morning after that party when you had your first seizure and we begin this journey. I watched Miss Trish today with her boy Alex (another chubby,happy baby) and it reminded me of  that party. You just never know when things will change but once they do, you can almost remember the exact moment in changed. And you can never be really sure when or what will you bring you. So tonight I will hug you a little harder, to hang on to this moment before it fades into the next and whatever it may bring. I love you so much my beautiful boy.