Dear Jakey,

The way in which we try to hang on to our life with you can make the simplest things so hard. I say this not to make you sad but to know the impact you continue to have on everything that we do. Today we got a new couch delivered. Our old couch ~ the couch you know, is moved to the basement and will be moved to a new home next month. It seems weird and wrong having something new without you. Ethan finally said it out loud a few months ago when we talked about my next car. And while there is absolutely no urgency to it at all, Ethan has pretty much vetoed the whole idea. Even if what I want is a Jeep. It is just too sad to think of a car that you never knew and never rode in. And I can’t say I blame him. I may never be able to get rid of the Volvo because if I close my eyes real tight I can picture you in the back seat.

So it is with the same mixed emotions that we deal with this couch. When I told Ethan, Daddy and I ordered a new couch, he cried. Not a normal response but I understood it and I knew where he was coming from. And leading up to today’s delivery we proceeded with some trepidation. And now we sit on this new couch. And I have to tell you Jakey, I love it.  And I think you would have too. Ethan seems to love it although he won’t admit it yet. He just now told me that you liked the old couch and probably wouldn’t like this one either. So I guess we just plug along and keep trying to make sense of our life here on Earth while you are up in Heaven. We miss you so very much.