Dear Jakey,

It is so cold here that Ethan didn’t have school again. He brought you up a bunch – you must be on his mind a lot today. It is just the strangest thing without you and each day has something a little different to endure. Today my thing was another weird, unexpected little thing. I went to Price Chopper for a couple of things and almost started to cry in the peanut butter aisle. I was automatically buying the Simply Jif because that is what we always bought for you – the ketogenic friendly peanut butter. And then it hit me that I could buy whatever peanut butter I wanted. Not that it  is such a big deal but it is different and I am tired of everything in life being different now. But I bought a new brand – and it is from the peanut guy in NYC and is flavored with cinnamon and raisins. Pretty tasty – try it up in heaven and enjoy the carbs and sugar you couldn’t here.

The last 24 hours has also been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I hate that sometimes I am so sensitive but I am not sure that people understand the incredible impact their words can have.  Little things again – but some have a disproportionately big impact. Anyways, the flip side to that is that some messages have truly been uplifting and powerful. Mary,who you met at Cafe Frida in NYC, wrote me the most amazing email last night. I have read it over and over and am grateful for her. You must have known that I was thinking about her and knew that was a great way to pass along a message. You never cease to wow me, Jakey and I remain eternally grateful for my 4 years, 7 months and 4 days with you here on Earth.

I am reading another book now – Messages from the Masters. On one of the first pages it talks about how you pick your parents. I like that thought, Jakey.