Dear Jakey,

Thursday night you were in my dream. It was the first time in a long time that you were there and the first time in a very long time that it was a good dream. Not just a different version of the death dream. Anyways, you were you.  You were cute as a button but littler than I remember you being. You were on my lap the way you always were but you could move more. We were sitting on the floor and Mommy’s friend Jael was there. You actually talked and walked. And it was pretty amazing. I remember being in awe of your voice. It was so perfect. You walked off my lap and went over to Jael. You touched her cheek and said “hi” and it was just so sweet. And then the best part and the part that made me really know it was you (and the part that I have been keeping all to myself since it happened) was that you then started singing. You started singing Kesha, which only a child of mine would bust out and sing. And it was that song that I was obsessed with and basically played on repeat the last time you were in Plum Island with us. And in my dream last Thursday night you sang it to me. And while Kesha might seem like a random choice, I appreciate it and I loved every minute of it. And my heart breaks a little bit more as time passes along and the sound of your voice is more and more muted. I wish I could somehow hear it as loud as that moment that I first woke up Friday morning. I miss you buddy. So very much.

Love,

Mommy