Dear Jakey,

I find myself thinking a lot about the future, not the immediate future but the far, far away future. I sometimes blame it on Ethan starting kindergarten but I know that isn’t true. I know I thought this way before that but it just seems as though that milestone was such a concrete example of the passage of time that it makes me think about the future even more. I think about the day that will come when Ethan will go to college, do his thing – whatever that may be, and begin a life outside this home of ours. It makes me sad to think of my oldest growing up but it also makes me proud and excited about the man I think he will grow up to be. And I am sure you know where I am going with this. Without being a pessimist, I feel the odds are that you will be with us – it will always be us together in our home. We won’t have that bittersweet feeling of the kids all out of the house or get to be “empty nesters”. Sometimes I talk about it with Heath, since her and Jeff are in a similar boat with their Tessa. We agree that it is so sad but she told me that Jeff always flips it around and says “Isn’t it great? We never have to say goodbye. We always get her with us”.  It has been lingering in my head for the last week or so and I am starting to see that he might be on to something. Having you here with me means I can protect you  – protect you from all the meaners out in the world and from all the people who might not see at first glance all that you are able to do. Only time will tell how it all works out and regardless, I love you my little man. But if we are in this for the long haul, I hope you start sleeping better 🙂