I write to you today from a happy place, a truly happy place. Today has been an extraordinarily good day for me. And not for anything particularly exciting just from a sense of contentment in all aspects of my life. I guess I often find myself feeling good about some things I am doing but then can always find the negative and I focus on the things I didn’t get done. My to do list can seem endless and that it grows longer without ever-growing shorter. Yet, today I found the good in all of it. Maybe because for the first time in what has felt like forever we saw the cardinal a bunch this week. I feel like you and I were out of sync and now we are back. The day started with Ethan and I playing one of our favorite songs louder at the grave. We blasted out a little Ed Sheeran for you and then you were there. For the first time in too long, we enjoyed the moment. And maybe that helped get the day going well.
Today was a busy JHFH day. Marc and I went to a new family that was awesome. Awesome in so many ways. And then I met with another family and handled some business on the phone as well. As I spoke with Linda, she told me she was talking to you last night too. She talked to you about how thankful she was that you were such an amazing kid that you caused the kind of inspiration that made Daddy and I do the work we do and the Board do the work they do. It’s hard to explain how that made me feel. And when I told her she made my day I meant it.
It’s not unusual to have good JHFH days but it isn’t always that I have good personal days. Or maybe I don’t always take the time to appreciate the good. And I don’t only appreciate it today but I am grateful for it. At TKD today we worked on tournament prep. You know me well enough to know that those moments typically make me anxious and crazy. But somehow today I felt okay. And I was grateful for Tam (who I don’t think you even ever met) for making me better and making me more prepared so that I can be stronger for Ethan.
So often we see bad things happen to good people and it can make things overwhelming. Yet today so many things made me see the good, even in the bad. The world cares. It cares about the loss of you, it cares about terrible things that happen and it wants to help. It feels good to be surrounded by a community that cares. Often, for me, all that good is dimmed by the loss of you. Today you helped me see things brighter. Thanks Jakey.