Dear Jakey,

So the time has come and we are in Lake Placid. We got here last night and have a pretty perfect room right on the lake with lots of space and treats waiting for us when we checked in. It immediately made me think that you would have liked it. Had you been with us we would have settled in to feed you, enjoyed the Pinot they left for us and the snacks and then made a plan. We still enjoyed our treats but then we raced off to the Olympic Center to go ice skating with Santa. The thing of it is that you were in the forefront of all of our minds. When we walked into our beautiful room Ethan couldn’t stop talking about how much he loved it here. It reminded me when we were in Boston for you dr.’s visits in the super big suite at the Intercon and Ethan said it was nicer than our house and didn’t want to leave. Anyways, he sort of stopped in the middle and thanked you for us being here. And then Daddy made a comment about all good things coming from you. And I couldn’t agree more. I do believe it is you that keeps us all in line and gives us opportunities to be happy when that is so much harder than it used to be. And I spent some time today thinking about how important it is to me that we keep doing things and experiencing things we couldn’t do before because in a weird way it is honoring you. I feel like if we didn’t do stuff we would somehow not have learned anything from your time on Earth. And my little peanut, we have learned more than you can imagine from your time on Earth.And when we experience new or different things I hope you realize how close to all of our hearts you are.

A while back there was a quote on Criminal Minds by Dwight Eisenhower. In light of the last few days and us being over a year without you, I can’t help but keep thinking about it. It is so true and what he said was: “There’s no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” I don’t know much about Dwight Eisenhower but I do know that in this he is absolutely right. Things never will be as they were and we are all just trying to make do.

With so much love,