Dear Jakey,

Life doesn’t get any easier without you. I keep thinking it will but it doesn’t. We just got back from another trip. We went to see Sarena and spent the weekend with her in San Francisco and then we went to Las Vegas. On our very first night we landed in San Jose, got our car and went to the Doubletree we stay at near the airport. We were spending the night there before we got Sarena in the morning and took off to San Fran. Anyways, we were exhausted and were finally making our way to our room. As we approached the elevator a man held open the door for us. The three of us walked in and he still paused and then looked out. He seemed confused and said he thought he saw another little one. It made me smile that even if for just a second, someone saw us as a family of four again, the way that I still see us. The idea that you might have been there, enough for someone to see something is something I believe. I think you were there and while I couldn’t see you, some guy could. And he was there at the right time. And while it may sound crazy, I am fine with crazy.  And because of that I think we had one of our finest family trips. I didn’t think about how the reason we were all traveling together now was because you were gone, although it is never far from my mind. Instead I thought about you with us. And even though it isn’t the way I would have hoped I’ll take it. And this morning we finally made it back home.  Daddy went with Ethan to baseball practice to help out and I decided to walk over before it ended  to watch a little and as I walked down Lake Ave, there you flew in front of me. And I really felt like you came round trip with us. And for now that is enough.