Your presence has been everywhere lately. Or at least I have been thinking of you all the time. It has been so cold and crisp – the bright kind of days where I tell Ethan we can see straight up to Heaven. And this wacky group of robins have been flying and hanging out in the tree in front of the house – so much so that not only I noticed, but Ethan said something on the way home from school and Kate noticed when she came over. And the cardinal has been hanging around for E and I to see. And then tonight, out of nowhere, Ethan went up to put his pajamas on. When he was up there he wrote you a note in his journal. It’s been many months since he’s written. And he was proud of it and wanted me to share it with you. So I will write it exactly as he did:
Marry Dilad (delayed) christmas Jakey !!!!! How do you like heaven. Is it fun. Can’t wait to see you Jakey and see what it’s like. I love you Jakey.
He misses you so much. And sometimes I get so wrapped up in my missing of you that I forget about how it impacts Ethan, and even his friends. Mrs. Willard left this note at your grave a few weeks back. It had been sent home in Willie’s backpack mail and nobody knew he wrote it. It was his Christmas wish:
My wish for jake Stroter to come back to life so my friend Ethan can be happy and play. from will with lots and lots of love to Santa and the Stroter family
Your impact on everyone continues to be strong. And I am proud of that but sad because I just miss you and want you back – like Willie said – so we can be happy.