Dear Jakey,

I am sitting in a hotel in Providence tonight. Daddy is in the bathroom and Ethan is watching a show about fishing. We spent a few hours at Aunt Shirley’s and Uncle John’s and visited with your family. We are staying the night in a hotel near the Hilton which we stayed in two summers ago with you when we were up for Jasmine’s graduation. I remember that weekend vividly with you and I remember being in that hotel with you. When I knew we would be staying in Providence I couldn’t stay there so we are in a hotel around the corner.

I have been a little lost in my own thoughts today. Thinking a lot about death. And thinking about, or rather getting angry about what people find sad. Whitney Houston died and while I agree that it is sad, I am not sure I find it any sadder than the death of any other drug addict. I am not sure that I think the fact that she had such an incredible amount of talent made her life any more valuable. I grew up loving her music like many others. But I also watched her deteriorate and that was the sad part. I watched the reality shows and the Oprah specials and through it all felt horrible and sad for Bobbi Kristina. And I guess it sort of pisses me off that everyone finds her death so much more significant than other people’s death. All death is tragic and I don’t find hers any more tragic. In fact, I find yours the most tragic. And especially tragic because you valued your life. You fought hard to live and only took meds that you needed. And I hopelessly follow the paths of other children who have fought so hard and not been given the gift of 48 years. I think of Maddie, Hannah, and Matthew who died in the last couple of months. I think of brave will and super jake and all the other foundations started in honor of warriors that didn’t make it. I think of you. And I wish people really understood the value of life.

That’s it. I am off my soapbox now Jakey, but love you to heaven and back.