Dear Jakey,

Today was a great day and we picked out an awesome tree at Bob’s this year. The only thing missing was you. It made me sad to keep you home but I realized that while sometimes it is the absolute right thing to bring you with us but other times it is just selfish of us. Sometimes we want you there so much but it is just to difficult on you. I thought about it a lot yesterday when you were crying the whole way to Prime. I know you are still so sore with your fracture and I know there is no way that your spica is comfortable. It made me really think though that some times it is worth you being a little uncomfortable and other times it isn’t. Having you with us for Thanksgiving dinner was worth it, but I think the trade-off was today. It was sad that you stayed home and made me feel guilty when I was having fun without you. But you got to snooze and play with Cait. And Ethan and Sarena got to run around. And Daddy and I carried the tree for what seemed like half a mile. And while it was sunny and beautiful, it was also really chilly. Between your cast and the weather I am pretty sure it would have been a miserable experience for you. So I try to be happy to have protected you from it. I am also happy you get to be a part of tomorrow with all the decorating.

So I guess it is just going to have to be day by day, event by event to figure out what is worth it. And us making sure that it is about you and not us. I miss you so much when you aren’t with us but know that I love you all the time and I look forward to a day when we don’t have to make these choices at all and you can just be with us all the time.