Letters to Jakey

Thank you, I’m good

Dear Jakey, I never heard those words from you—not in real life, anyway. But at around 6:30 this morning, as I was hanging on to the last minutes of sleep, that is what you said. It has been quite a while since you came to me in a dream, and I actually remembered to...

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Senior pictures

Dear Jakey, I promised to do better but haven't. I have talked to you more lately—more than a long time. And I am writing more but somehow the two haven't joined forces for me to write more to you. I think it is sometimes because I feel like I don't know you anymore....

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Kobe Bean Straughter

Dear Jakey, For some reason last night when we were laying on the couch watching TV and Kobe assumed her regular position on my lap, I got to thinking about her and you. I don't think I ever officially introduced you and told you about the addition to the family. We...

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Pinky Promise

Dear Jakey, I am making a promise to you because that is the only way I may follow through on my word. It has been a personal goal of mine to bring these letters back on a consistent basis because I spend so much time talking about you and our 4 years together and it...

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Everything that dies, some day comes back

Dear Jakey, As with so many of my letters to you, this has been written in my head many times over. I have been grappling with so many different versions and struggling to find the right words for so long. And sometimes I feel like through the podcast I have been...

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Jakes Hotel

Dear Jakey, The last few weeks, or maybe month, I have been inundated with thoughts, conversations, and different ideas about grief. I have talked more about you in the last month, and to more people, than I have in the previous few years. It is not that I didn’t talk...

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Technology

Dear Jakey, I found a video today of you on an old digital Canon camera. It was quite an ordeal to get the battery charged so that I could see what was on it and then once I got the camera turned on it took me a while to figure out how to scroll through the pictures...

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Back Again

Dear Jakey, After a 7 year hiatus, I returned to writing to you earlier this month. It was done away from this blog and really gave me a chance to think about all the things that these letters meant to me and why I stopped writing. It was like dipping your toe in the...

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After 7 years

Dear Jakey, The last letter I wrote you was 12.2.16. Hard to believe. I don’t know why I stopped other than I think it hurt too much. It went from being my way of connecting with you to a constant reminder that you were gone. I kept telling myself I would restart but...

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Saying Goodbye

Dear Jakey, Here we are again. Quickly approaching December 8th. About three weeks ago, I came to the realization that the next letter I wrote you would be my last one. With that realization came a sense of calm and resolution, yet somehow I couldn't get myself to sit...

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