Dear Jakey,

Bittersweet does not even begin to describe this week here at Plum Island. I can’t thank you enough for your visit Sunday morning – having not seen sight of another cardinal since then I truly believe  that it was you coming to assure me that being here was right. I was so worried at the idea of coming here without you and how it would feel. I was right in thinking that you are so utterly wrapped up in this place but it felt just right being here. I can’t imagine that I even thought for a minute going somewhere else would be a better choice. And I know Daddy felt it too. Our house this year was perfect – the best one yet and the one we will continue to rent until we have our own. We talked about how to figure out how to get a second home and what we would need to do to make it happen. We both figured it was something we wanted to do and our excited at the prospect. And even more excited that you approve.

It is hard to believe the week is over. It was perfect but too short. Sarena is already at the airport right now, getting ready to go home. Ethan is still sleeping and I am almost all packed. I feel like with the end of vacation we are so quickly approaching the end of summer. Only a couple of weeks left before school starts up and Ethan is in first grade. That seems so much bigger to me than Kindergarten. But I can’t help but think you would have been starting Kindergarten. And how important that would be. I just miss you so damn much Jakey. And no matter how much we plug along and find ways to be happy – it just is so hard without you here.

Ethan is in tae kwon do camp next week – everyday for the whole day. I am finally going to put together the photo books. After what happened I found myself stuck at July 2010 and not quite able to get them done and caught up. But I am going to spend the majority of Monday and Tuesday doing them. No plans otherwise. I need to do them, as hard as it will be – we need them. We need to look at pictures of our life – especially our life with you.

Sending you more love than you can imagine,