Dear Jakey,

All we have been talking about lately is you, your cast, your seizures, if your sick, if your junky, if you’ll get pneumonia, and on and on and on. I have decided that it is time to change the focus, starting here with your Mom. Now that doesn’t mean that I am still not going to be obsessive about how you sound, your positioning, your poop and your food intake. That won’t change. Sorry. But it means that I am not going to keep talking about spicas, fractures, seizures and all that other crap with everyone under the sun. You are so much more than that. And there is so much more to talk about. Maybe it has to do with what Heath and I where talking about Saturday night – our endless quest to just be normal. But maybe not. Maybe it just has to do with accepting our reality, loving it and moving on. Another shitty thing happened, shitty things happen all the time to everyone so it is time to get over it. Therefore, in honor of all that you are, I have compiled a list of all the things I love about you. Here goes:

1. I love that you came into this world fast (9 minutes of pushing) and with the attitude of one who was much older and wiser. You immediately knew how to nurse and how to tolerate an over-excited 15 month old brother. You were ready to leave the hospital the next day and never lost any weight – born at 8 lbs, 3 oz and over 10 lbs in less than a week.

2. I love that you rolled from your back to your front at 5 weeks old. You didn’t really want to wait to do anything and I should have known then that everything would be on your own terms.

3. I love that when Ethan was in Roc-n-Tots you just hung out in the corner staring at yourself in the mirror. You were quite the handsome 6 month old and Miss Briana was always in awe of how good you were.

4. I love that in Argentina you flirted with every Latina that came your way.

5. I love that even at the hospital that very first night when you had your very first seizure (at least that we knew about) you still flirted with the nurses. Even when they jabbed you so many times – even on your head  – to get IV access.

6. I love that you made countless doctors, nurses and therapists fall in love with you. Nurses that even though they haven’t seen you in 3 years still donate to the Saratoga Stroll and follow your story. Doctors that think of you way above and beyond our appointment times. Doctors who stay late at the hospital and get yelled at by their wives to help you.

7. I love that you find a way to communicate no matter how hard it might be some days.

8. I love that you never, ever appear to feel sorry for your self. You make the most of what you got and remind us that it is, in fact, quite a lot.

9. I love that you play possum with your therapists, especially Xavier. I also love that when he knows you are fake sleeping and he pretends to leave, you wake up as though you just pulled a fast one over him. He’s on to you know, kiddo.

10. I love that I get to spend more time with you than most moms get to spend with their kids. I love that I get to be the one to keep you safe and that you are the best, most important job I could ever have imagined having.

That is only a start my buddy. But enough to remind us that the cast is just a temporary roadblock – what really matters doesn’t change.

Love,

Mommy