Dear Jakey,

You have been on my mind even more lately if that is even possible. It seems so strange that we are about to have our 2nd Christmas without you. It’s been weird and kind of uncomfortable getting ready for it. It’s like I feel guilty planning for the whole family without you being here. No matter how much fun we are having or as happy as we are, there is that pit in my stomach that doesn’t really go away. And not only doesn’t it go away, it sometimes consumes me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about books I read right after you died. Miss Kelly gave me that book Many Lives, Many Masters and I got pretty obsessed with it. I think I am ready to read some more of those stories because I have been thinking so much about what they say. I keep wondering when I am going to meet you again. I think I told you about this little boy named Liam. I don’t know him or his family, or even where he lives but I found him on facebook through other people I know. And his first birthday was 12/13/11. His story is like yours and he even looks like you. He is fighting so hard and as I follow his story I think of you. It’s not like I think you are back here as him but I just feel like it is all so ironic that you died on December 8, 2010, we buried you on December 13, 2010 and Liam was born on December 13, 2010. He is here on Earth fighting the fight and teaching the lessons that you did in your time here so well.

Anyways, it has been over a year without you and I am looking for signs of you everywhere. Ethan tells me has seen the cardinal. I don’t know if he has or not. He hasn’t seen it with me. We call for it most mornings but it’s been a while since we’ve seen it. And I anxiously await seeing it again. And I anxiously await for some signs of you.

I love you buddy. And miss you tremendously.