Dear Jakey,

This is a short letter. I miss you so very much. Sometimes it is weird because it seems bearable. And then after a few days of that it all comes back to me. Just a few minutes ago I was looking through pictures to print out in sepia for the new frame and I came upon the pictures from the hospital after you passed. It is strange because they look the most like you – the pictures from Tunison look like you sleeping but the pictures from the hospital bed look like I remember you most. Just more like real life.

I need to go back and re-read some stuff because I remember reading in one of my books about when the soul actually leaves the physical body. And I think about that night. And I think about how I needed to clean up all the doctor’s mess. And cover you up – not your face but your body – like I was putting you to bed.  And I wonder when your soul left. Was it when I was cleaning up? Was it when we were all around you? Was it when the priest was telling us that you were no longer suffering and it was our turn to suffer? I guess it doesn’t really matter but I miss you. I wish we were up in bed now snuggling.

More love than ever before,