Dear Jakey,
Another day behind us. And another one that I am glad is behind us. Today was the 3rd Annual Saratoga Stroll for Epilepsy on top of it being September 11th. A myriad of emotions and overall exhausting. I am just glad it’s all over. A day like 9.11 can’t help but make you think about the past. And for me, it is so strange to go back to that time before you, before Ethan and before Daddy. It brought me back to the time when I taught and brought me back to the kids that I taught. And how hard it was to go through 9.11 as a 27-year-old and try to keep it together for my class full of 9 year olds. And on top of it to be all wrapped up in all that is the Saratoga Stroll for Epilepsy. Not being involved with the planning made it easy to not really have to think about it but since we attended, as I know you would have wanted us to, I couldn’t help but think about all the work we did the past two years. And how very sick you were that 1st year. You ended up with pneumonia after that first stroll – which was always the irony of us. Daddy and I worked so hard in your honor and you ended up suffering. And then the 2nd stroll last year which you did so well at and which produced one of my favorite pictures of the 4 of us. The one of Daddy, Ethan and me around your red stroller and Ethan is looking at you instead of the camera with something that can only be described as the look of love. And today was just different. No stroller to push, no jobs to do, no talking in front of people but lots of talking about you. The kind of talking about you that is exhausting. So I say good night, my little peanut and I say it with a heavier heart than usual – and I hope that Heaven is a happy place today with everyone up there is feeling the love, gratitude and pride from down below.
Love,
Mommy