Dear Jakey,

Another little boy that I never knew but followed a little through friends of friends on facebook died. He was one of those boys that reminded me of you, and part of this whole world of kids like you that I never really knew about until after you died. Sometimes I wished that I knew these families and kids while you were here because sometimes it felt so alone. But mostly I am just glad I get to follow them now, except when they go to join you. Then I am just reminded of how unfair it all can be .

I have however been feeling so proud of your legacy. And the people who knew you and loved you working hard to keep your memory alive. And also people who never met you that still work so hard to keep your memory alive. I’ve been feeling the love and it is nice. Saturday we did the Hero Rush again. And this year there were about 10 people on our team. We had Team Jake shirts that Susan made for us there was a moment when I just knew you would be happy, and probably laughing. The race starts with climbing up stairs to a platform. And the announcer noticed we were all Team Jake – he asked if you were here which caught me off guard but he got it when I answered “unfortunately, no” and he knew that we were doing it for you in your memory. And then we slid down fireman polls. I think you would have dug it. And I pictured you on your red fire engine with Xavier and it all felt right. And everyone finished and had fun and is already talking about next year and making the team bigger. And lots of it has to do with you.

As you know we found Jake Muffin. Daddy is actually the one. I couldn’t believe he made it downstairs. He was roaming around the dining room with one of Ethan’s little balls, rolling it around with his nose. Kind of like he was playing soccer. And for a moment I thought of you and the freedom you know have. I love you buddy and miss you more with each passing day.