I write to you today with a very particular request. The request for tolerance. I lack it. I have for a long time but as of late it has gotten worse. I am about to pop with frustration and I know that is not right. I know people do what they can and it is not my place to judge but lately I have been so fed up with people and their inability to deal with their particular burdens. Being your mom has in many ways made me a much better person than I ever thought I could be, but it has also left me with a lack of patience and sympathy for others. So I write to you and ask you to help me. Remind me that not everyone has learned the lessons you taught me and remind me that I can’t be angry because people get stuck. That they rather get upset and hurt by the same old shit instead of figuring out how to take control and move on. That people think they are right and therefore overly opinionated. That people are hurtful without intending to be and often don’t recognize the hurt they cause. That I am guilty of all the things that are burning me up lately but that I am working so hard at being more tolerant. And at forgiving those who I need to forgive – even if they have no idea what they have done. I just am so sick and tired of people telling me they have learned so much from you and changed their lives when the truth is almost two years have passed and they really haven’t changed at all.
That is it. I am hoping talking to you will help me work through it. It usually does. I miss your father and wish he was already home. Help get him home as quick as possible.
I miss you so much.