Dear Jakey,

Ethan and I are at the Homewood. Daddy is in a meeting. We are leaving soon for NYC. And tomorrow we go to Disney. Seems surreal. Ethan is excited. You must feel good that he is so happy. It is what is keeping me together. And before we know it we’ll be back. I know you are with us where ever we are. I believe what I read about Heaven – that you are there and that there is no time. You are content – much more than content really – and you wait for us to get there with you. I believe in you watching over us and I believe what you told me – that you were just so tired of being in your body. I know that body was tough on you – you heard me tell so many people who I felt you were trapped in a body that didn’t cooperate with you. And now you are not. And for that and for you I am happy. But I am also selfish. I’d rather you just still be here. And I rather life not be so easy – packing is easy. I still overpack and I am sure forgot something. But nothing is a big deal. It is not the keto cal, the pre-made meals, the meds. The stress of enough meds in case you throw them up. Remember that trip in NYC when you threw up all your reserve meds? And we had to travel all over the city to find them and call doctors and insurance companies? As much of a pain in the ass as that was, I would do it all over again. Because it was with you.

So buddy, we are travelling. Find us and keep us close. We will look for you and keep you close to our heart. A friend of mine from high school posted on facebook that she knew we’d find a bird flying through Disney. I think she is right. Love you so much!

Love,

Mommy