It has been almost a week since I wrote you. Not really sure why because I have things I have wanted to share and have been thinking about you so much lately. Thinking about and really missing you. And hoping that you know how much. I worry sometimes that you watch us from Heaven and somehow think we are doing fine without you. Anyways, please know it is not the case.
I ran the Adirondack Distance Run yesterday. It was 10 miles and it was all hills. I was not quite as fast as I would have hoped but I was also happy with it. I had gotten a little out of wack with running and focusing on things that matter to other people but not really me. I like running long distances mostly to be in my own head and mostly to think and talk to you. When I lose sight of that I really don’t enjoy running. So between the 5 days off of exercise and yesterday’s run I feel like I am back on track. I may never be a speed demon but I can get up in the morning and knock out ten miles and feel pretty good about it and for me that is enough. And I thank you for it. Without you I never would have had the focus and patience to plug along.
We also did a lot of things this weekend that really was about us learning how to be a family of 3 instead of 4. It’s hard on all of us. I think Ethan is having trouble navigating it too. Four is an even number and three is just different. When you were on Earth, usually it was you and me and Daddy and Ethan. Or vice versa. Even when all four of us were together, one of us was more focused on you. Now Ethan has all of our focus. He gets sad sort of out of nowhere and starts missing one of us if we aren’t there. And we do things we didn’t do before. We swam up in LG, went in the hot tub, and just did stuff. It is hard being in LG without you because we used that as a getaway sometimes and I just really associate being there with you. When we went to our room Saturday I almost immediately went to the fridge but soon realized there was nothing to put in except my seltzer. I always used to have to get your food and keto in there quickly.
And Jakey, we are having such a difficult time getting the cemetery to move forward with our bench placed. It is so silly and Daddy is in the center of hopefully getting it resolved. We just want your area to be done.
And Ethan finished kindergarted on Friday too. He is now a first grader. Isn’t that wild?
I will write sooner and not let time go by. I am not sure if Ethan starts camp today or tomorrow so I need to figure it out. Lots of love to you from me.