Dear Jakey,

I write this to you this morning after an eventful morning. Ethan has some strange bruising on his thighs and when we took him to the doctor this morning he had to get some stat blood work. We went to the hospital and both of us felt tense driving in. I have been there a handful of times since you died and I hate it each time. I just about puked at the thought of bringing my alive kid there. And as you and I both know blood work has never been my strong point. That was Daddy’s job and he was good at it. Anyways, we pull in and Ethan says “isn’t this where Jake died?” Yep. It is. But I think your spirit was there super strong because your brother was amazing. He didn’t flinch even though I could feel how tense he was (he was on my lap). He was a warrior, just like you.

And now I wait. Wait to find out what caused the petechiae and figure out a game plan. And hope it is nothing serious. The waiting game is something I am good at it, I wish I wasn’t but you gave me skills I never knew I had. And I know we will face this head on the way we always did with you.