Dear Jakey,

Getting ready for wave riders soon. I sort of am dreading it yet I had the chance to miss it today and it didn’t seem right. The whole thing is so sad but I know Ethan likes it. He is so wise about all of this stuff, Jakey. And handles it so maturely. More mature than me at times. Last night we were talking and he said he tries to forget the day you died because he doesn’t want to be sad. The way he said it seemed so honest and yet so wise. Trying to forget is actually probably a little self-protective. He isn’t trying to forget you, he is trying to forget those moments leading up to when we lost you. He knows that in those moments everything changed. And he learned some hard lessons for an almost 6-year-old.

He also asked me yesterday what happens if a kid is in the car and the person driving dies. He knows that life has no guarantees and that you can’t assume all will be fine. We learned that lesson as a family slowly over your 4 years, 7 months and 4 days on Earth. He asked if it would be okay for a kid to call 911 from the car if that happened. I told him yes.