Dear Jakey,

I am not sure what happened but a couple of days have passed without a letter. I know we have been talking and I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking about things. In a weird way I have started to feel so connected to you – in a way that is different from when you were here on Earth. There was so much here that I had to interpret and while I think I did a good job figuring out what you liked or needed and figuring out who you were – there was still a lot of questions. If it is true that you chose the life you had and chose Daddy and I as your parents and Ethan as your brother – it says so much about you. Particularly about the life you chose. What an amazing little boy you are – even more amazing than originally thought!  You chose a harder life for yourself in order to teach us about life and what is important. And even know you are still teaching us so much more.

There are a lot of things going on so I am just going to make another list for now. These are things that I will likely expand on later but what to make sure you are up to speed.

  1. Mommy LOVES skiing on Wednesdays with Kelly, Heath and Hilary. It has been so good and fun and I am individually and collectively grateful for each of them in my life.
  2. Your foundation has a name (as long as NYS accepts it) – Jake’s Help From Heaven. Seems fitting and we love it.
  3. We have a lot of work to do in the next few days to try to put together a Board of Directors.
  4. Ethan asked last night where you died – at home or in the ambulance. He still thinks so much about you. I told him you died at the hospital but the truth is I am not really sure. I just didn’t want him to think that you died at our house.
  5. I got a new computer – a macbook.

Another random list for you my little peanut!  Mommy loves you the most and misses you so very much. I hope you are warm and happy and full of health and peace.