I am not sure what happened but a couple of days have passed without a letter. I know we have been talking and I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking about things. In a weird way I have started to feel so connected to you – in a way that is different from when you were here on Earth. There was so much here that I had to interpret and while I think I did a good job figuring out what you liked or needed and figuring out who you were – there was still a lot of questions. If it is true that you chose the life you had and chose Daddy and I as your parents and Ethan as your brother – it says so much about you. Particularly about the life you chose. What an amazing little boy you are – even more amazing than originally thought! You chose a harder life for yourself in order to teach us about life and what is important. And even know you are still teaching us so much more.
There are a lot of things going on so I am just going to make another list for now. These are things that I will likely expand on later but what to make sure you are up to speed.
- Mommy LOVES skiing on Wednesdays with Kelly, Heath and Hilary. It has been so good and fun and I am individually and collectively grateful for each of them in my life.
- Your foundation has a name (as long as NYS accepts it) – Jake’s Help From Heaven. Seems fitting and we love it.
- We have a lot of work to do in the next few days to try to put together a Board of Directors.
- Ethan asked last night where you died – at home or in the ambulance. He still thinks so much about you. I told him you died at the hospital but the truth is I am not really sure. I just didn’t want him to think that you died at our house.
- I got a new computer – a macbook.
Another random list for you my little peanut! Mommy loves you the most and misses you so very much. I hope you are warm and happy and full of health and peace.