Dear Jakey,
For some reason last night when we were laying on the couch watching TV and Kobe assumed her regular position on my lap, I got to thinking about her and you. I don’t think I ever officially introduced you and told you about the addition to the family. We rescued her during COVID which was a strange time all together and one that I found myself grateful that you were not here for. I know that is something a little controversial among families like ours, but I can remember so vividly thinking about how we would have managed your care in a world where leaving the house would have been so dangerous for you. And in a world that was (and is still) so divided – where people don’t value each other and their differences. And where people put themselves over the greater good. But anyways….
We adopted Kobe in August of 2020. It took her a while to become the cuddly cat that she now is. I wonder what you would have thought of her. She would have gotten up in your mix. I suspect it might have comforted you although I don’t really know! It never even occurred to us to have any type of pet when you were (other than the short-lived goldfish – I think they were during your time here). Kobe fits in well though. She is slightly standoffish, kind of peculiar, but always, or mostly, a good companion. You would have liked her.
I have been thinking about “if I knew then what I know now”, and if your life has been different. Maybe it wouldn’t be and maybe it was exactly how it was supposed to be. But it is hard for me to balance the two, as I feel like today’s world has so much more options, or at least I am now aware of the options. Advocating is and looks so different today than it was 13+ years ago. It is easier to find out more and you can find similar parents and kids and I think, feel less alone. Or maybe they still feel as alone as I did. Who knows?
Anyways, I have so much more to say about diagnosis, or your lack of one. About therapies and equipment. About opportunities and experiences but I will save that for another day. I will leave you with thoughts of Kobe who is currently staring at me demanding her lunch. Tonight, I will be sure to tell her all about you when she jumps up for her nightly lap time snuggle.
Love,
Mom