Dear Jakey,

I never heard those words from you—not in real life, anyway. But at around 6:30 this morning, as I was hanging on to the last minutes of sleep, that is what you said. It has been quite a while since you came to me in a dream, and I actually remembered to take notes on my phone the minute I woke up. And as is often the case when you come to me in my dreams, as soon as I wake up, it starts to dissipate and before I know it, it is like it never even happened. 

And then I abruptly remembered while I was trying to get some work done. And checked my notes. And here was this list: 

  • “I’m good. Thank you”
  • Tell dad
  • Drinking milk
  • Mimicking sounds
  • His smile
  • Amazing

I am grateful for these notes because for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I could bring myself back to the dream. I could picture what I saw – which was you as a baby. I was holding you and you were exactly you – so cute and so expressive and you were drinking from a bottle and spilling a lot. But then you kept making the cutest sounds – and then started saying thank you. You were telling me “thank you, I’m good” over and over. 

I am still sort of speechless and starstruck about it. Like it was pure magic. I worry sometimes that so much time has passed that I don’t really remember the details anymore –  that my memories are really just more like blurry pictures. But now I have something new.

And I will remember to tell Dad tonight (or he might read it here first!)

With all the love,

Mom