Dear Jakey, It is time for another list. I am trying so hard to stay positive and honor your spirit. I was thinking about how hard I tried to stay positive when you were here with us and really how easy it was a lot of the time. I can't lie to you because you knew how...

Dear Jakey, I know I sound like a broken record but I can't believe you are not here with me anymore. I keep thinking about our life together and I get so overwhelmed. I loved it Jakey. Every minute of it. And I don't quite believe our life here is over. You were...

Dear Jakey, This letter to you begins with a letter from Ethan. Last night we were sitting quietly. Ethan didn't feel too well. In fact he projectiled all over me yesterday afternoon. For those who knew us well Jakey - they know that is something I was used to. In...

Dear Jakey, Merry 1st Christmas in Heaven my little peanut. Miss Briana wrote that in your card at the cemetery and it brought me such joy. It is all in finding a new kind of happiness now. Everyone kept saying how hard today was going to be and to be honest, I was...

Dear Jakey, What a day. Overwhelmingly positive yet still so devastatingly sad. What I find positive now is just sort of twisted. Twisted because it is me making sense of life without you. Ethan and I went over this morning and had the best time with you. It is so...

Dear Jakey, It just happened again. The smack in the face when I realize that you are gone. My heart tightens up. I feel like I am going to puke. I can't breathe. It is really just awful. It is not just with these moments that I miss you. I walk around now with...

Dear Jakey, Good Morning my peanut. I miss you terribly. I felt pretty strong yesterday and then lost it last night in bed. It is so overwhelming sometimes trying to keep it together. It can be exhausting being out in the world and attempting to function and...

Dear Jakey, I miss you my peanut boy. I realized last night that Daddy and I are now members of a secret club. A club no one ever wants to be a member of but when you meet someone else in it you feel instantly connected to them for life. The club is those parents who...

Dear Jakey, We are doing our Sunday thing. Giants game is on. Your brother is being a nut. Your daddy is doing some work. I am puttering around. I miss you. I stopped to look at a picture - the one of the 4 of us from the stroll this past year. I love that one because...

Dear Jakey, Mommy has been struggling. I knew this would be hard but words can never do justice to the incredible heartbreak I feel. I won't even bother to try to explain it. I almost feel like you are mad too. And I get it. We try to make everything feel better by...