Dear Jakey, I don't mean to keep being so depressing but it really sucks lately. Sometimes I think I am sadder now than ever. Sadder than the day you died. Sadder than the days, weeks and months immediately following. Last night I was reading to Ethan and it took all...

Dear Jakey, Today was my first Mother's day without you. It was only five years ago that I had a 3 day old newborn on Mother's day. But the day is just about over, Daddy is putting Ethan to bed. Daddy did a really nice job of making it the best it could be. Ethan on...

Dear Jakey, This truly has been and will continue to be quite a week. Yesterday was a donor luncheon at UAlbany. It was the awarding of the scholarship that used to be named after G-Pa but that we had changed to be named after you. I agreed to go with Daddy a while...

Dear Jakey, Well, peanut, we made it through. Hard day though. I missed you so very much and it felt so new and real all over again. It just seems so completely unreal to me that you are gone. I don't understand it sometimes. I mean I know you are gone but it just...

Dear Jakey, Tomorrow is your birthday. You would have been 5. Well, I guess you will be 5, just not here. It kind of feels like when you first died. All I really want to be is with Daddy. And I am having a hard time focusing and getting anything done. I don't really...

Dear Jakey, Yesterday was amazing. And I know you know it. In the days leading up to it, I was getting nervous. Not about how the event would play out but how I would handle it. The idea that we are doing this in your memory can be so overwhelming. Overwhelming...

Dear Jakey, I usually just write you letters as they come to me. Lately though that has been harder.  Even so I usually manage to catch myself up within a few days and then I can write.  Generally, I write always in one shot. For some reason or another this week I...

Dear Jakey, At Target today I was in line behind a woman. She was talking to a man and I wasn't really paying any attention until she said     " ...is having so many bad seizures" She was talking about her kid. She talked so matter of fact - the way only moms of kids...

Dear Jakey, We went to the Connection tonight. We went with Karen and Gary. It is always a little weird being there without you. It is great being there with people who loved you too. And Karen definitely did. And it is the night before Easter. Which has been kind of...

Dear Jakey, So I wrote another boy a letter today. Another boy in Heaven. I think you might know him because after you died I asked him to watch over you. And in this crazy world of belief and faith and life after death, I am trying to find comfort in it all and...