Dear Jakey, It has been almost a week since I wrote you. Not really sure why because I have things I have wanted to share and have been thinking about you so much lately. Thinking about and really missing you. And hoping that you know how much. I worry sometimes that...

Dear Jakey, Today started at a memorial for another Saratoga boy who died. His name was Taylor and he died one year ago today. He was a soldier in Afghanistan and he was killed by a suicide bomber. He was 20 when he died. His mommy emailed me after you died and we...

Dear Jakey, I write to you tonight with so many thoughts in my head but mostly just sadness and missing you. Yesterday was Father's Day and while it was a good day, it was once again shadowed (at least for me but I think for everyone) by the fact that you are gone. I...

Dear Jakey, 1. For Mother's Day, Daddy got us Jakey license plates. My car says Jakey and his says Jakey2. It is the best. Everytime I come to my car, it makes me think of you and smile. It its own weird way it keeps you close to us every single minute. 2. Daddy...

Dear Jakey, Yesterday morning as we were leaving the cemetery before school, Ethan told me that he wished Daddy, me and him were all birds. He wanted us to all be cardinals with you. It was so sweet but so sad all at once. It makes me sad that the only way we could be...

Dear Jakey, So my running saga continues. I went for a run this morning. Still not loving it much but you got me through it this morning. I was getting so sick of it for my last mile or so and then I thought of you. I thought about your broken femur. And how much that...

Dear Jakey, I have been thinking a lot these last few days about your brother.  We've always had to balance what was right for you and what was right for him. It meant that sometimes we had Kate or Cait with you so that Daddy and I could do stuff with him. And I think...

Dear Jakey, So you have been in Heaven for exactly 6 months today. I don't like it. I miss you. I am having a hard time doing much of anything today. I even forgot to send Ethan's lunch to school with him today but at least saw it in time to get it over to him. And...

Dear Jakey, I have been trying to get back in the running groove. I have a 10 miler at the end of this month which is supposed to be hilly. I wish I didn't sign up. Yesterday I made myself get up and run longer. I managed 6.3 and although I was slower than I should...

Dear Jakey, Yesterday your brother had a moment. And I realized again how your passing has so intensely affected us all. In the midst of what is our normal state of chaos - getting dinner ready for Ethan, telling him to get out of his tae kwon do uniform and into pjs,...