Dear Jakey, It occurred to me that it is time for a list. I haven't done one in a bit and I feel like it might help me deal with the whole myriad of emotions I have been having lately. Here goes: 1. I miss the way you looked after your bath. Your hair would get these...

Dear Jakey, I am sitting here, getting ready to go to lake ave to help in Ethan's room and I am missing you so very much. I sat with you a long time this morning. I can't wait until our bench can get put in. I borrowed the neighbors bench and it was nice to have a...

Dear Jakey, The hole in my heart is just so big without you. I miss you so much. I woke up at 4 today and just couldn't sleep anymore. I just get up  because there is so much to do lately. And I don't really like what that represents. Because even when I was so busy...

Dear Jakey, Today is three months. Three months without my little peanut. Without you. Time is so hard for me to figure out and understand. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday and then other moments feel like I have been forever without you. Sometimes I wonder if I...

Dear Jakey, It has been since Thursday since I wrote, I am sorry buddy. You get an extra long letter today. I have had so much to share with you but we didn't go online the whole time we were in Florida. It was nice although I got a little anxious without officially...

Dear Jakey, Ethan and I are at the Homewood. Daddy is in a meeting. We are leaving soon for NYC. And tomorrow we go to Disney. Seems surreal. Ethan is excited. You must feel good that he is so happy. It is what is keeping me together. And before we know it we'll be...

Dear Jakey, I love you so very much and for whatever reason had such a difficult day yesterday. I even asked Daddy if it was a Wednesday (it wasn't, it was Tuesday). It wasn't so much that it was a bad day, it wasn't. It was just another day getting used to this...

Dear Jakey, Short note this morning buddy. We were all missing you extra last night it seemed. When we went to say goodnight, it just seemed sadder. Maybe it was just me but I feel like everyone felt it. Anyways, Ethan looked up and found the passage to Heaven - which...

Dear Jakey, I keep having these weird thoughts. It is like I get mad that life is going on. All around me. And I sometimes just wish it wouldn't. Or I wish we could rewind. Last night, Ethan, Daddy and I were all snuggling on the couch and I just missed you so much. I...

Dear Jakey, I miss you so much buddy. It is always weird to me the overall finality of death. I think if people really understood it, then they would behave so differently. And I guess you can only really understand it when you experience it because I always thought I...